Adios San Sebastian!

Well, our last night in San Sebastian was wonderfully fun. Danise and I went out for some tapas and calimochos and inivted Bernard, a French-Canadian with a thick accent and pretty full vocabulary business manager and Aaron, a Lick graduate who TAed one of Daniseś classes (completely random encounter) to join us. A chilly night, I borrowed Daniseś scarf and for some reason that paired with my sunglasses and wet hair gave off a celebrity vibe and Bernard commented that I looked like I could be famous. Now, really. Danise and I messed about with them explaning the proper attitude one must have if one were going out in our company and had a good time riffing off each otherś sass. Sarcastic and funny, this Bernard tried to figure us out as the funny one or the sarcastic one and then tried to explain the difference between being sarcastic and ironic. Apparently, most of our sarcasm is irony. We walked to the old quarter to the place we went the night before and ordered calimochos, serveza and calimari. Everything was delicious and I just loved the calimocho. I could drink one in a hot second!

As small talk goes on this trip, Bernard asked us what we studied and after Dansie spoke about teaching and her future amazing career, I said I studied communication and womens studies. And the later major came wiht a big cheeky-I-dare-you-cause-I-expect-you-to-say-something-anyways- smile. He bit. "I knew it!" Bernard exclaimed. Aaron stayed quiet and watched Bernard dig deep. "I knew you were like one of those feminisms, those feminists." I laughed and said "oh yeah? How?" fully expecting to have missed a spot shaving or something key indicator like that. Bernard said he could just tell by the way I was acting (apparently my irony...how sarcastic...) and by my response to the comment he had made eariler about some heavier and unattractive women which went along the lines of "wait what? there are women who are unattractive in this world? Well, I never...you dont suppose...I always just assumed everyone is beautiful...dont you think?" So, I was albeit giving him a hard time before and recalling this very feminist moment, had no intention of stopping. Fun stuff. At least he didnt'give up but he did get frustrated at times when he thought I was thinking all feminist before he could explain himself. So, after establishing that I was a big richeous ball busting dont give me your attitude I got one of my own type of woman, he dropped the conversation and not surprised in the least to have turned this one off, I talked to Danise.

Being an ethnic studies or womens studies studetn can get some pretty ahrsh reactions or require tedious explenations that make us feel defensive or feel that our studies were a bit illigitimate. Its usually why I say comunication first and womens studies second. I love seeing peopleś initial reactions as they are so telling of what type of person they really are. Its ilke my personal measurement of deuschbag quality. If they completely ignore women studeies and talk about communication only, or walk away all togher, or my favorite..."womens studies? what is that? Is there like a mens studies too?" yeah...its called, life, then thank god I got the clue early on and didnt have to waste any more "getting to know you" time with them. But, if they want to know more about womens studies or are already familiar with the concept and want to talk about something related, fantastic, bring it, lets go to town...which is what ended up happening with Bernard in the long run and I must say, he put up quite the fight and challenge. At one point, he seriously belived that government and territorial managment was a mans job....I kid you not. I tried not to laugh because really, thats rude, and I did have the advantage since we were disocursing in my native language...but come on! After explaining the problematic thinking and that the assumptions that led him to know and believe that statement are signs of not really getting what equality is all about, I was exhausted. It hurt, and Bernard really lost points with that one. He studied business managment and philosphy so he was able to earn points back later...but I happily kicked his ass over that point.

One must really be careful when correcting anothers...I mean challenging anothers ideology (which Bernard also thinks is a peoples collective opion or way of thinking, versus the individual mindset) so as not to upset the ego because lets be honest when someone is turned onto the fantastic lens of feminist thought, their world is rocked and it can get crazy up in there. Baby steps. Bernard held on though and asked me the big question, what had I learned from womenst studies. What was my new persepctive, which is a question I both loath and love. I hate it because, it makes the major sound so small and narrow, and people expect an answer like, "I learned that I can achieve what ever I want or be whoever i want to be"...something generic that allow them to label the major illigimate and say "I larned that in pre-k along with how to kindly pet a dog and make nice with the class A-hole." Or worse, they want to hear "I dont need no man to make me happy! F-it! I dont even need to wear a bra; its part of a patriarchal society trying to keepy me fenced in and the girls up! Hello male gaze."

But, I also love the question because it really makes me think about everything I learned from my womens studies life andI get to make up whatever I want on the spot. At first, I really wanted to come up with a formal answer that I coudl ramble off to any yahoo who asked but it is great fun and super hard to come up with one each time that is unique tot he context and perosn. I think I came up with a good one for Bernard.

When we left the first tapas bar Bernard caught up to Danise to comment on her piece-of-work friend and Aaron and I looked for the Asian-Basque fusion tapas bar he was intersted in. Another round of calimochos and we were exchanging name origins and nick names and our parents brilliant ability and creativity to assign our identity through...a name. Bernard thought everyones middle name was their fathers first name (enter sarcastic joke about the mothers maiden name being the proper middle name) and Aaron lamented about how his parents just decided to use a baby naming book. They obviously didnt get very far seeing as his name starts with Aa. At least they wernt named after their fathers cybil shepard crush a la moonlighting.

Bernard and Aaron wanted to grab some beers for the road so we stalked the few local stores for hidden take aways and headed for the surf beach for more midnight fun and on the way, came across the most breathtaking sky. We looked out over the bridge to a navy, amost black, ocean cradled by two lengths of rock coast that stretched out into the horizon. The sun had already set bu the light from beyond the horizon spread dark hughs of violates, blues and pinks suggesting a blissfull heaven like world. Aaron, who says very little but makes every word count, made the poingnat comment that the flip of the sun was just waking someone over there up. It made our world seem so small and close in one thought. Next, we passed through a crowd of people who surrounded a fisherman with a ginormous freshly caught fish. We crossed the bridge and plonked down on the soft warm sand. There was still a bit of light and nearby us were a group of kids in party hats celebrating a birthday. We cracked open some beers.

The four of us talked on the beach for a while until Bernard proposed we play a game, the kind where you establish a context and characters and then take turns building a story. It was hilarious and eveyrone kep forgeting plot lines and caracter names and details someone else had at one point created. Aaron, was by far the best story teller. He had so many great details and lead the plot in different directions. eventually the rest of us just stopped talkign and asked Aaron to finish himself. He kept us in rapture as the sky darkened still and the water wavered back and forth. Aaron with his soft and thoughtful voice told a scarry story of two lawyers and a hippy musician lost on an island while one vanishes misteriously. We all really enjoyed the story and the dark beach was the perfect setting and great end to our San Sebastian adventure.