I always knew I was special but my new friends, courtesy of couchsurfing.com, Gideon and Yair solidified my status last night. I contacted Gideon for some local Jerusalem gems, the kind you can't find via a tourist office and he happily met me downtown at Zion Square to set off on an adventure with his roommate Yair. I was thrilled to see them for three reasons, the first being that I really wanted an insider's view of the city, the second being that I am new to this phenomenal network called Couch Surfing and wanted to find out more, and the third being because I accidentally mistook a smiley guy on a bench for Gideon and while he didn't speak English particularly well, he really really wanted to help me. As I walked around the square looking for another smiley guy whose name really was Gideon, this other kid took off his sunglasses, gave me the once over and was about to pounce.
Lovely Gideon and Yair quickly ushered me into a humus shop, the first of three holy spaces we would encounter that day, to reach sanctity. This, they told me, was the best humus in all of Jerusalem. Funny, because cousin Omri said the same thing about the humus shack two streets away. I wonder if the humus guys are cousins. I’ve also been pointed in the direction of the best ice cream and Belgian waffles in all of Jerusalim. We’ll see how far we get before I sadly take off on Monday. Gideon snacked on regular humus with chickpeas strewn about and Yair’s was topped off with minced lamb. Delic. The proper way to eat humus, is yes, with pita, but more delicious, with onion, tomatoes and pickles! You just dip in, scoop, and devour.
From there we walked to the old city and once again, entered through Jaffa gate. Gideon pointed out the bullet holes in the door way and the clever architecture double door feature that prevented intruders from breaking into the city. The two were incredibly knowledgeable of the old city and pointed out artifacts, and bits of historical trivia throughout the day. I followed them inside narrow passages that lead to people’s private homes. All the buildings were made of the same stone (it is actually illegal to build anything in the old city of any other material) making the streets very slippery and uneven. We wound our way in and out of streets until we came to the Mormon house which was a site for “women monks” or nuns as we refer to them, to live. They have gorgeous small dorms, a courtyard, a kitchen, a church, a social room, etc. and most special of all, a roof that Gideon found access too. We climbed the Mormon house stairs until we reached the top and once outside were privileged with the most spectacular panoramic view of Jerusalim. The image was spectacular and we had a 360 degree view that stretched or miles. My line of sight was directed by Gideon who narrated stories of The Dome of the Rock or Temple Mount which is the holiest place on earth according to Christians, Muslims, and Jews. This gold dome was a temple, a mosque, a church, and the cycle repeated throughout history as people pillaged and rebuilt the site. Being in such close proximity to the Western Wall, it is the site of religious conflict but I like to imagine all the positive energy put into building and rebuilding this holy place. Can you imagine how much love and crazy mental sacrifice is offered there? On the flip side, Gideon showed me the different quarters of the city, Jewish, Christian, Muslim etc. from up above and it is amazing how everyone is surviving and living next to people who at some point in history, bulldozed their place of warship.
The third heavily spiritual site we visited was the Church of the Holy Sepulchre (Resurrection). While this place may look and feel like a church (it smells of candles) it is really several churches built together. Again, different peoples took ownership of the place where Christ was apparently crucified and buried and today, it is quite obvious (if you have a guide like Gideon) to notice several styles within the building. There is no continuity as each keeper only cares about his portion of the church and thus, the maintenance is quite random and inconsistent. This adds one variable to the Jerusalem Syndrome, the idea that the city of Jerusalem in all it’s holiness, can make you crazy. Literally, people enter this city and are so overwhelmed with the spirits of their religion, they flip shit. I’m not knocking religion (although the Orthodox here seem to cause much strife and political conflict where none need be) and will be the first to admit I wish I were orthodox anything just to have a secure and black and white faith (not very feminist I admit, but ignorance is bliss right?) but Israel evokes so much emotion in some people that they are deemed crazy. Spending time in this church was proof enough as we watched tourists from all over the world line up to kiss Christ’s burial spot. Not only that, but there was a slab near the entrance of the church where they say they lay Christ down after his crucifixion. People drag themselves to this spot, heave their bodies onto this stone and cry. They bring treasured pieces like crosses or Christ likenesses or …as Yair does, batteries, to charge with holiness. They lay these down on what I am guessing is marble and pray and cross themselves and literally, cry. Sometimes it is moving and other times it supports the Jerusalem Syndrome theory.
After religious overload we shopped the Arab Market in search of the leather bag I have been dreaming about all week. A cousin’s friend said she bought one for 50 sheiks but that is unbelievable. I know this bag isn’t worth much but certainly more than 50…maybe she got a smaller one. In any case, last time I tried haggling with this guy I got him from 350 to 280. To be honest it is probably worth no more than 100 but this game is hard! At least I had some Israelis on my side. The owner, Yousef, obviously didn’t remember me because he started the price at 450! Gideon and Yair got it down to 300 and I took it from there. I felt bad making the guys listen to literally 30 minutes of, “you’re honest I can see it in your eyes, so I give you honest price. I make no profit, no profit for you! You take with you now. Student Discount.” So we settled at 235 and I got a small leather wallet out of it too. I’m sure he would have eventually lowered his price but I was getting worn out!
From there we grabbed coffee in a gentrified mall that overlooked the city (gorgeous) and talked colonization, war, and the hardships of getting a tourist visa to the states. We walked downtown and had a drink at a outdoor pub. The guys drank Guinness and I enjoyed Arrack (Israeli Anise) on ice. It was there I learned of my special powers that allow me to spread meaningful blessings. I am a Katz which is short of Cohen, the highest rank in the holy order of Jews if I’m not mistaken. Cohen’s and Levis I believe are among the elite who have access to the most spiritual places. Similar to your west-side, peace, loser-loser-whatever hand signage, the Katz/Cohen’s of the world have their own uber cool hand shape to bless others with. After the Arrack I had less control of my fingers so Yair shaped them into the blessed art thou Katz position and I blessed both him and Gideon. They promised me they were all the better for it.
Next we hit up a sushi bar which is the hottest eatery in Israel. They loooove their sushi and who can blame them with this heat? Gideon and Yair were great entertainment and I was pleasantly satisfied on the bus ride back to the cousin’s apartment where I practiced my blessing hand trick. If I get in trouble at the airport on Monday I’ll just pull out this nifty trick and see what happens!
Lovely Gideon and Yair quickly ushered me into a humus shop, the first of three holy spaces we would encounter that day, to reach sanctity. This, they told me, was the best humus in all of Jerusalem. Funny, because cousin Omri said the same thing about the humus shack two streets away. I wonder if the humus guys are cousins. I’ve also been pointed in the direction of the best ice cream and Belgian waffles in all of Jerusalim. We’ll see how far we get before I sadly take off on Monday. Gideon snacked on regular humus with chickpeas strewn about and Yair’s was topped off with minced lamb. Delic. The proper way to eat humus, is yes, with pita, but more delicious, with onion, tomatoes and pickles! You just dip in, scoop, and devour.
From there we walked to the old city and once again, entered through Jaffa gate. Gideon pointed out the bullet holes in the door way and the clever architecture double door feature that prevented intruders from breaking into the city. The two were incredibly knowledgeable of the old city and pointed out artifacts, and bits of historical trivia throughout the day. I followed them inside narrow passages that lead to people’s private homes. All the buildings were made of the same stone (it is actually illegal to build anything in the old city of any other material) making the streets very slippery and uneven. We wound our way in and out of streets until we came to the Mormon house which was a site for “women monks” or nuns as we refer to them, to live. They have gorgeous small dorms, a courtyard, a kitchen, a church, a social room, etc. and most special of all, a roof that Gideon found access too. We climbed the Mormon house stairs until we reached the top and once outside were privileged with the most spectacular panoramic view of Jerusalim. The image was spectacular and we had a 360 degree view that stretched or miles. My line of sight was directed by Gideon who narrated stories of The Dome of the Rock or Temple Mount which is the holiest place on earth according to Christians, Muslims, and Jews. This gold dome was a temple, a mosque, a church, and the cycle repeated throughout history as people pillaged and rebuilt the site. Being in such close proximity to the Western Wall, it is the site of religious conflict but I like to imagine all the positive energy put into building and rebuilding this holy place. Can you imagine how much love and crazy mental sacrifice is offered there? On the flip side, Gideon showed me the different quarters of the city, Jewish, Christian, Muslim etc. from up above and it is amazing how everyone is surviving and living next to people who at some point in history, bulldozed their place of warship.
The third heavily spiritual site we visited was the Church of the Holy Sepulchre (Resurrection). While this place may look and feel like a church (it smells of candles) it is really several churches built together. Again, different peoples took ownership of the place where Christ was apparently crucified and buried and today, it is quite obvious (if you have a guide like Gideon) to notice several styles within the building. There is no continuity as each keeper only cares about his portion of the church and thus, the maintenance is quite random and inconsistent. This adds one variable to the Jerusalem Syndrome, the idea that the city of Jerusalem in all it’s holiness, can make you crazy. Literally, people enter this city and are so overwhelmed with the spirits of their religion, they flip shit. I’m not knocking religion (although the Orthodox here seem to cause much strife and political conflict where none need be) and will be the first to admit I wish I were orthodox anything just to have a secure and black and white faith (not very feminist I admit, but ignorance is bliss right?) but Israel evokes so much emotion in some people that they are deemed crazy. Spending time in this church was proof enough as we watched tourists from all over the world line up to kiss Christ’s burial spot. Not only that, but there was a slab near the entrance of the church where they say they lay Christ down after his crucifixion. People drag themselves to this spot, heave their bodies onto this stone and cry. They bring treasured pieces like crosses or Christ likenesses or …as Yair does, batteries, to charge with holiness. They lay these down on what I am guessing is marble and pray and cross themselves and literally, cry. Sometimes it is moving and other times it supports the Jerusalem Syndrome theory.
After religious overload we shopped the Arab Market in search of the leather bag I have been dreaming about all week. A cousin’s friend said she bought one for 50 sheiks but that is unbelievable. I know this bag isn’t worth much but certainly more than 50…maybe she got a smaller one. In any case, last time I tried haggling with this guy I got him from 350 to 280. To be honest it is probably worth no more than 100 but this game is hard! At least I had some Israelis on my side. The owner, Yousef, obviously didn’t remember me because he started the price at 450! Gideon and Yair got it down to 300 and I took it from there. I felt bad making the guys listen to literally 30 minutes of, “you’re honest I can see it in your eyes, so I give you honest price. I make no profit, no profit for you! You take with you now. Student Discount.” So we settled at 235 and I got a small leather wallet out of it too. I’m sure he would have eventually lowered his price but I was getting worn out!
From there we grabbed coffee in a gentrified mall that overlooked the city (gorgeous) and talked colonization, war, and the hardships of getting a tourist visa to the states. We walked downtown and had a drink at a outdoor pub. The guys drank Guinness and I enjoyed Arrack (Israeli Anise) on ice. It was there I learned of my special powers that allow me to spread meaningful blessings. I am a Katz which is short of Cohen, the highest rank in the holy order of Jews if I’m not mistaken. Cohen’s and Levis I believe are among the elite who have access to the most spiritual places. Similar to your west-side, peace, loser-loser-whatever hand signage, the Katz/Cohen’s of the world have their own uber cool hand shape to bless others with. After the Arrack I had less control of my fingers so Yair shaped them into the blessed art thou Katz position and I blessed both him and Gideon. They promised me they were all the better for it.
Next we hit up a sushi bar which is the hottest eatery in Israel. They loooove their sushi and who can blame them with this heat? Gideon and Yair were great entertainment and I was pleasantly satisfied on the bus ride back to the cousin’s apartment where I practiced my blessing hand trick. If I get in trouble at the airport on Monday I’ll just pull out this nifty trick and see what happens!
Honey, you have to edit this post. It's spelled JERUSALEM. If you don't correct anything else, you have to spell the name of the city correctly.
ReplyDeletelove, Mum
That's hilarious, Paula. Maddie is couch surfing in Israel with two gorgeous men and you're worried about her spelling?
ReplyDelete